DATA ROT - HALF REMEMBERED CYBERPUNK ADVENTURES

First, some music.

These are some half-remembered adventure-type things I've run for Cyberpunk 2020. It's weird, in a setting most open to people finding out about things and exploiting them on their own initiative, people are most eager to look for discrete jobs. Something to do with choice paralysis maybe?

Most of these ideas are quite nihilistic and nasty. People with money and power abuse it - if that's not your tone they'll need re-working. May as well talk about what my players got up to whilst we're at it.

My Child is a Prostitute and is Missing

The son of the local *big corp* division has a very specific tastes - exotics - which are people genespliced and modified for animal traits. Women with animal fur, ears, shit like that. The deal is a friend of the characters has a child, who is a prostitute. No big deal so far, but they've gone missing. Search of their home reveals a datapad with the clients booked in - namely a lot of visits from the son mentioned above. There's signs of forced entry, maybe some people who got shot for being in the way of a corporate snatch team. They've been transported to the home of the son, who has:

a) many exotics already, all of whom have been memory-wiped and programmed for loyalty. If you wanted to get really nasty they could have cyberweapons built in, to double up as body guards.

b) his own private surgery at the back of the apartment (located deep into corporate territory, ofc.) wherein the missing child is sedated, awaiting the surgery and the mind-wipe. Obviously, this stuff is very illegal, hence the surgery being in the home.

My players first infiltrated the sex-fur party thanks to the Rocker in the party. They went in the back, brutally murdered the surgeon, and picked up the kid. One player was so disgusted with all this they blew the son's head clean off. This caused a riot of exotics running for the elevator whilst the heavy guys took out the security team that had been dispatched to investigate the band of heavily armed weirdos going into the rich-people tower complex. They ended up escaping via the sewers to avoid pursuit by aerodyne vehicles (basically harrier jump jets, but more helicopter-y.) They were paid in free noodles for life by Asian Juan, the proprietor of Noodlebar, the noodle bar, wherein bars of noodles are served.

The Pharaoh is an ex-military Cyborg Impostor

(this one was inspired by Transmetropolitan #2, which is sick)

Flights of Fantasy Inc. maintain several resorts, which are slices-of-life from distant time periods populated by many many clones. Incredibly rich clients pay huge sums to pretend to be people of power and import in these fantasy worlds.

The issue? A cyborg has gone rogue inside the Ancient Egypt Resort, and nerve-gassing all the clones isn't a cost-effective measure for dealing with. The players are. This cyborg is tooled up to all fuck, with laser eyes, appearance changing camouflage (hence him being to kill the pharaoh clone and replace him) and a secret stash of plastic-body guns he smuggled into the resort.

Payscale will vary depending on how many clones need memory wipes/outright replacements. A flat rate for removing the cyborg is low, but you can keep the body and all the black-ops enhancements he's toting.

The players poisoned his food so much that his cyber-liver couldn't handle. He died messily. Cooking contests between guards were involved.

Bounty: Organ Mule

(offering players quick and easy bounties is a nice way of breaking up the larger, more involved operations. This one is not that)

A corporation is offering 10k for the (live) return of an experimental heart contained within the chest of a carrier, who has since gone rogue, and is selling the heart for 50k, or the highest bidder. They've done this to pay for the medical bills of their brother. They are protected by a pretty solid mercenary team, and have a tunnel to the sewers hidden on the ground floor of the building they are selling from to escape. The leader of the mercenary group is a well known sniper-for-hire. The organ mule is desperate and is making very stupid decisions - even with the money from a sell, about half goes to the mercenary outfit, making this a very temporary fix to her brothers's medicals bill.

The party said 'fuck this' and instead decided to look into other lines of employment.

Drug-Chip Freak-Out Zombies

This can be thrown in anywhere really. Basically, the hot new drug is pumping experience/emotion into your skull via datajack - these blackmarket datajacks being very crude, and very damaging. A drug-den is now a lot of people with cables hanging out the back of their skulls, tended to by drug dealers toting sub-machine guns. If the players decide to fuck with the drug dealers, they've got a very crude, very basic ATTACK program they can use to burn out the brains of the junkies, and use them as attack-zombies. Cheap and nasty, just like the drug-chips. They're pretty shitty combatants but have numbers and covering fire from the drug dealers, so they can be used to quite a horrid effect.

The players killed fucking all of them without remorse.

that's all I can remember right now - at least the ones which are interesting and uniquely cyberpunkish

LotFP Writeup 4.3

We left off with the party riding hard out of the now-diseased town, laden with loot from the late enchanter. Tesco's maniacal laughter cuts through the air as we start once again.

--

The first order of business, of course, was to check the loot. Items of note included no less than 2 spell books in addition to a ring which detected as magical to Tesco's assisted sight. He quickly donned the ring and scanned through the books, hungry for the knowledge within. To his surprise, the biggest find was a variation on his beloved Summon which claimed to have a superior method of empowering the spell via sacrifice - as long as the victim was human. Milk was entirely unaware of this as he continued with his scrolls.

Meanwhile, the rest of the party decided that striking out north was the best plan - leaving the Red Duchy entirely and seeking adventure in the Republic of Seled, about a weeks travel at their current speeds. This journey, however, would involve 2 days in the dangerous wilds between the two states, wherein roam peoples and other things outside the writ of law.

With the initial rush of flight behind them, the party had an eventful days travel, choosing to rest the night rather than exhaust themselves. This un-eventfulness continued for the next couple of days until they awoke to notice something unusual near the clearing - a squat, square stone building, lacking windows with a collapsed doorway. Seeing no obvious signs of habitation, Tesco and Gutch proceeded on to the puzzling, isolated structure whilst Milk, Pepper and James stood guard over the horses. Doing a circuit around the building, our brave pair found a large crack in the rear wall. Peering in, they could see debris and think, undisturbed dust. Lighting the lantern, they began searching the ruin. After a good twenty minutes searching, they had only discovered three things - a trapdoor leading down, a wide set of stone steps and an unceasing scratching above them. Weapons ready, they decided to check above them.

The were met with a grim scene - the entire floor was covered in the corpses of the long-dead in what appeared to be some sort of church hall. The bodies were little more than withered husks wrapped in near-entirely gone rags. Searching through the bodies, Tesco was unable to find any trauma or obvious causes of death. Meanwhile, Gutch set about checking the walls for any obvious discrepancies. He first realised that the room was slightly smaller than the entire building - meaning the walls have extra thickness, or a hollow space behind them. The latter was quickly shown to be true, as well as seemingly being the source of the scratching. A glance was shared, and the pair began battering the wall to try and make some sort of opening. After a considerable degree of effort, a single stone was pried lost, but was immediately replaced by a bony hand gripping the stone below it, attempting to tear it away.

Milk and Pepper looked up idly from their guard, hearing their companions charging back towards the clearing, yelling about skeletons. Milk sighed, and continued working on his scroll whilst Pepper girded himself for a fight. It was not long before their bony foe was upon them. Whilst individually weak, Pepper was seriously wounded by one of the creatures before the fight was through. Taking a moments rest, Tesco, Pepper and Gutch returned to the room from whence their foes had emerged. Once there, they discovered that the hollow space was filled with ancient bones and a choking dust. After recovering from said dust, they decided to venture into the basement levels.

Pepper elected to stay above the trapdoor whilst the other two plumbed the depths. Once they had descended, they were met with a strange corridor - three pairs of wattle-and-daub discs set into the walls. These discs were incredibly obvious against the stonework of the corridor. Brandishing his 10' pole, Gutch jabbed the nearest disk, punching a hole clean through it. A femur protruded from the hole. Gripping it, he then pulled the femur loose, unintentionally enlarging the hole to the point where a considerable portion of the contents spilled out - a great pile of bones was now in the corridor, in addition to the choking dust from before.

Once the dust had settled, Gutch and Tesco pushed on to the end of the corridor - a flight of stairs, turning to the right. They advanced to the bottom of the stairs, and were met with a similar corridor. Once again, they pushed through, but the room at the end of the corridor was very different - a simple stone room, with an altar set in the centre. Topping the centre was a fore-arm sized golden idol. Tesco decided this was an obvious trap, and left Gutch to his fate. Gutch saw the idol. He wanted the idol. He wanted it bad. He ran his palms over the entire room, and could not find either mechanism nor switch. He couldn't see a pressure plate on the altar. Bracing himself, he snatched the idol and began sprinting as hard as he could towards the exit. He heard a smashing, whirling, crushing sound behind him. He kept going. As he passed the second pair of discs, the same sound and feeling. Tesco, however, could see the the scene play out - the bones contained behind the discs burst forth, meeting with their counterpart on the other wall, forming terrible pillars of writhing bone and debris. Gutch cleared the third, seconds before the bones flew forth. He glanced over his shoulder, and saw the terror he had narrowly avoided, idol still clutched to his chest.

Tesco had already moved to the trapdoor, and was yelling for Pepper to lower a rope to pull them up. Gutch meanwhile was nearly caught in the second pillar, narrowly avoiding it thanks to Tesco yanking him into the inert pile of bones by the first pillar. The both grabbed onto the rope whereupon Pepper pulled them up to ground level. They fled, golden idol clutched tight.

The rest of the day was spent nervously glancing at roadsides for skeletal pursuers, which consistently failed to materialise. Similarly, the night was spent unmolested by gleaming bone figures. The next days travel saw them break out of the denser forest into grassland, a river running far away to their left. Ahead of them sprawled a larger village, which they moved into.

In the small, rough alehouse our party spied a similar group - a large man with a ponderously massive hammer, upon which he rested his chin. He was accompanied by twins, equipped in lighter leather armour and more reasonably sized weapons. The entire trio seemed incredibly glum, and so our oh-so-kind group decided to cheer them up by interrogating them on the cause of their sour mood. Upon being questioned, the huge man (later identified as Rolf) left for his room. The twins explained that up until very recently they were Rolf and the Triplets - their brother having been lost in a dungeon about 3 hours travel to west, by the river. They went on to describe how their over-cautious brother had taken out a wall which stopped the river flooding the structure with his 10' pole. They gladly gave our group directions to the place, happy that someone might profit from their misadventure.

Tesco felt it best to seek out hired help for this escapade, preferably someone with experience regarding working with water. What he found was Vim, professional hireling and die-hard survivor. A short, wide commoner who most notably carried ten one foot poles which could be assembled into a single pole - a useful tool in any dungeon. Whilst not a combatant, he could combine the roles of several potential retainers into a general dogsbody. Tesco warmed to him immediately and hired him at a fifth-share of all loot.

The now-enlarged party assembled, they set forth for the entrance to the semi-flooded dungeon, ensuring they were not followed. The entrance was as described - a raised stone square, easily clambered atop with stairs set directly into the middle, leading down into damp darkness. Vim was given the lantern in addition to his poles, and so the intrepid adventurers plunged once more into darkness.

LotFP Writeup 4.2

Part 2 of the two day session. We carry on straight after the previous entry. Consider this a reminder that players will destroy everything you love and wear the corpse.

--

Whilst finalising their plans, the party decided to take the caravan and rest for the night, ensuring they were fully ready for the town. During Milk's watch, he spied a party of figures wielding heavy crossbows heading towards town - the remnants of the party they had murdered. In the morning, they discussed how best to deal with this issue - they would claim their companions were lost in combat against the hellish insect.

The plan agreed, they party felt it best to split - Milk and James would stay outside of town, hidden from sight in the tree-line. Meanwhile the other three would set about 'improving' the town and collecting their reward. Milk set about two endeavours in this time - fashioning himself a new mask from the skull of the king as well as creating a healing scroll for emergencies. The first order of business, as responsible members of society, was to report the terrible attacks occurring on the Northern road. After being directed about by the various inept guards, they finally came to the head of the town watch, whom they showed the artfully blood-stained clothes of the murdered merchant to. The walrus-like figure bristled and harrumphed, and promised to reward them with food for several weeks travel if they were to return with proof of the dead creature.

This first piece of business done, the terrible trio then moved on to the enchanters tower, and re-bribed one of the guards to skip the considerable line of visitors. They were seen quickly, their employer all-too eager to get his hands on the artefact. However, they also decided to try and pawn the ornate chain-mail the long-dead king had been wearing. Rather than money, however, Tesco attempted to barter for one of the mage's tomes. Using a degree of trickery and underhanded mercantile tactics, Tesco left with a slim black tome rather than his share of the reward money. The mage let them out of his tower, obviously worried.

With payment for previous work secured and future payment ensured, the away-team retired to the camp-site outside of the town once they recovered the chest stashed in the tavern. Milk insisted he was undisturbed, still working away with his scrolls. The carefully chosen camp-site allowed the party vision of the road whilst hiding them from the town itself, which led to them seeing a messenger atop his horse milling around on the road, calling out for them. Tesco padded closer, hiding in the foliage, before popping the horse-and-rider with a sleeping enchantment. Both of them fell, the initial fall breaking the riders leg under the weight of the horse, leading to both of them waking in immense pain. At this point, the horse went wild, began bucking and kicking, ruining the leg underneath it and smashing the other leg to pieces. To add to this, the horse then ran away, trampling the already broken and twisted rider, who was now screaming from the veritable pulping of his legs.

Containing his giggling, Tesco called Pepper and Gutch over to help him drag the unfortunate to town. En route, the barely-a-man messenger lost consciousness, leading to the group hatching another devilish scheme. The instead took him back to camp, laying him down in the centre. The party then manhandled the bug's head to stab the injured teenager to death with the mandibles. His final moments were the vision of a terrible beast's mandibles plunging into his battered form whilst the party critiqued the technique chosen to stab the young man to death. His body was horrifically mutilated by this treatment, leaving a broken and cut-apart corpse. The plan was to return this body to town as further signs of their battle with the terrible beast. Whilst formulating this plan, they finally decided to check the body - they took his final paycheck as well as a message addressed to them - the resident enchanter had further work for them. Tesco decided to descend further into deviousness, and began formulating schemes most foul regarding this information.

The tame environs surrounding Midtown led to an uneventful  night, meaning our party were fully refreshed for the trickery to come. Milk and James were left at the camp-site, but told to have everything ready incase they needed to leave in a hurry. Milk busied himself with his scrolls - apparently having real trouble transcribing a healing prayer to his liege, Death itself. And so our three bastards rolled into town, bearing the head of a great insect and the broken body of an eighteen year old, legs smashed and body slashed and stabbed by great mandibles. As they rode into town, a great weight pressed itself upon the population, leading to a bleak exchange. The populace openly mourned the loss of the messenger to the beast, and in an incredibly (calculated) rare show of generosity, the group donated the reward-rations to the family of the boy.

With this done, they moved on to their next port of call - the enchanters tower. Today there was no queue bar the visiting nobles, and so the party waited for their turn. The enchanter was at first delighted to see the party, but Tesco quickly killed this vibe by berating the mage for sending the messenger to his death. The mage was horrified and his guard disgusted. Tesco was relentless in his assault, driving the mage into the blackest of moods. Tesco suggested he accompany the mage to his room, and that they attend the promised work at a future date. Once they were alone upstairs, Tesco pinned the enchanter down, and demanded to know what the book had done to him. The mage was too terrified to speak, and attempted to call out. Tesco flexed, and snapped the poor man's neck there and then. He then moved quickly, constructing a basic noose and hanging the already-dead magic user, attempting to make the death appear self inflicted. He then pilfered some small items from the room before rejoining the rest of the group, most notably a jewellery box and a letter detailing the work they had been promised.

 After talking in a lowered tone to the guard for a while, he suggested the guard take a drink up to the deeply upset magician. Whilst the guard moved to do this, the party exploded into action. Tesco began shoving books into his back, Gutch selectively picking up small items of worth whilst Pepper swiped everything atop the desk into a task. (For his effort, he was rewarded with several open pots of ink, spoiled paper, broken quills, a blank book, some candles, an open bottle of drink, a half-eaten meal and a cutlery set.) This on-the-spot larceny done, the party began to leave the tower until they heard the yells of discovery above. They dashed up the stairs, Tesco faking surprise whilst the other two were genuinely surprised by the news of the mage's self-inflicted end.

The next thirty minutes passed in a blur whilst the town watch were brought in, the party questioned but ultimately washed of any blame. The party returned to the tower once they stashed the ill-gotten goods, several hours later. Thus began the Rude Guard Incident, which would result in the destruction of an entire town.

The gang approached the guards posted around the tower. Tesco proclaimed himself the research assistant to the late enchanter. The guard pointedly told him to fuck off. Tesco attempted to press his claim, but was stonewalled entirely. Frowning, Tesco stormed off, forming a plan to ruin the guard. Permanently. Pepper left, wanting no part in this revenge but not feeling moral enough to do anything about it. Gutch stuck around because he thought it would be kinda funny. Tesco and Gutch took cover in a nearby alley, watching the guard. A great deal of time past before the guard retired to the tower, emerging without his armour or weapon. Gutch and Tesco shadowed him back to his moderate family home. Tesco hid towards the back of the house, rolling up his sleeves for magic. Gutch ran the fuck away at this point, having clocked the plan.

The joy of the family re-united was disturbed by the sound of reality itself being rent asunder, letting a dweller from the Sea of Chaos from outside of reality punch it's way into our world. A horrific thing made of decay, rot and pestilence, carrying plagues and equipped with a blasphemous machine. It set about the family, tearing them to pieces and spreading it's diseased rot about the house. The guard died trying to defend his family unsuccessfully. No-one escaped the house, but neighbours began running towards the sounds of ripping, grinding and screams. Tesco left, his face split by a malicious grin like no other.

Gutch left late enough to hear a commotion, and figured thinning the ranks of the town guard would be a good idea. He approached the gate which separated him from the rest of the party, and called to the guards about some sort of trouble further into the town. The guards dashed off into town to investigate. Meanwhile, a similar scene played out at the enchanters tower, the skeleton crew of private guards being convinced by Tesco to help with the disturbance further into the town. Once this was done, Tesco slipped into the tower, and plundered again the books and valuable items, including the ornate chain-mail he had sold earlier that day. His looting complete, he dashed out of the town, meeting the party already saddled up to leave. They rode into the night hard.

--

At this point, I rationalized an Organic Rot Demon which causes disease on touch would probably leave trails and ichor around the house, ensuring the disease would spread throughout the town, probably wiping out the majority of the population of Midton - unlike a real disease, a Demonic Disease would probably kill most hosts. This habit of destroying towns was not over, however.

LotFP Writeup 4.1

Played a huge session over the course of a couple of days this week, so I'll break it up for readability. They truly outdid themselves in terms of being terrible terrible human beings. The dungeon they started last session and finished last session was The Burial Mound of Esur the Red, available freely here. We rejoin our 'friends' underground.

--

Our band of miscreants stood in a dank corridor, breathing heavily. They were surrounded by a field of bones, smashed and beaten. Pepper shook with the adrenaline dump of his near-death experience. They looked at each other for a long moment, and left the burial mound to rest up, taking careful care of the trap they had discovered. With the help of James, they got comfortable settled down to rest. Night came upon them, and the first watch passed uneventfully. The second watch was a different matter.

It took awhile for Gutch to notice it - a pale glow, getting stronger slowly, leading into the mound. Perturbed by this, he kicked his companions awake, pointing out the oddity. Upon closer inspection, they could begin to make out figures within the light, sporting arms and armour. As they marvelled at this sight, they also noticed a further trail leading round to the side of the mound, leading to the thus-far-undiscovered hidden entrance. Throwing caution to the wind, Gutch began jabbing at it with his 10' pole, yelling about someone grabbing a shovel.

Milk, however, was pre-occupied - he felt the brush of his patron's shadow pass over him, and so saw a solitary figure moving beyond the main group. A single spirit, marching further 'round the mound than the others. Wordlessly, he followed, Pepper in tow. Gutch and Tesco had at their find with shovels , excavating an entrance into heretofore unexplored areas under the mound. Milk witnessed his ghostly quarry walk through the back of the mound, passing through the earth without resistance nor effort. He briefly pondered on this before driving his ancient glowing sword into the side of the aforementioned earthworks. As Pepper looked on bemused, he proceeded to wiggle the point of the sword around - in doing so, he realised the last half-inch of his blade was not surrounded by earth. Feeling the need to do something other than watch, Pepper thwacked the tomb with his mace. Whilst satisfying, this was sadly unproductive.

Having excavated their entrance, Tesco and Gutch realised their companions were elsewhere, and wandered over to assess their discovery. And so they elected to dig out this entrance too, leaving the other untouched and un-plundered. They made quick work of what now revealed itself to be a second hidden entrance, leading to a set of downwards stairs. As the final shovelful was shifted, Pepper felt a terrible coldness run over and through him, leaving him untouched. Despite his enclosed armour, his allies could tell he was thoroughly disturbed, though his explanation was not forthcoming. Still enthused by the mystery of the entrance, the party pressed on into the darkness below the mound.

They came to the end of the stairs, having bristled with long poking implements on the way down. They saw a monolithic stone door to their right and a small dais leading to an altar. Atop the altar was a carved symbol, depicted twin crossed axes wrapped about with chains. They felt it wise to investigate the altar before pressing on, not wishing for any surprises in the case of a hasty retreat. They moved with incredible caution, the most recent dais-related experience still fresh in their minds. After some thorough investigation, however, they could find nothing untoward. And so they moved on to the door.

They pushed the door open, watching intently for anything to come flying at them out of the darkness, ears straining for the mechanical click of a trap being triggered. Nothing greeted eye nor ear. They took their first hesitant steps in, taking in the plain room marred only by the heavy stone sarcophagus in the dead centre of the space. The lid was carved intricately with a crowned skeleton, gripping a mighty blade, standing atop the crushed bodies of many an elf. Giddy with excitement, the physically unimpressive Tesco shoved the lid off, causing it to fall and smash into three large chunks, and revealing the contents - a chain-clad skeleton, crown upon the damaged dome and studded black ring upon the chest.

Moving quickly, Tesco began his soon-to-be-familiar reaction to corpses - he struck the head from the greater skeleton with his shovel. In doing so, he disturbed the ring, which fell into the sarcophagus. Though most of the party lost sight of it, a Gutchensmark is made of smarter stuff. Gutch palmed the ring as it rolled into the container, avoiding notice and Tesco began posing with his new found crown. Pepper quickly shook the skeleton out of his new chain-shirt whilst Milk eyed up the skull of this ancient king. A hole had been punched into the dome, just above the temple. Milk came to the conclusion it would make a fine new mask despite this and stashed the skull in his pack. After a brief episode in which Gutch was complimented into returning the beard-ring, the group decided to attempt to return to sleep before returning to the town of Midton.

The rest of the night passed uneventfully, and the team sallied forth without issue. This was a trend which continued for the first day and night. This peace was to be quickly disturbed, however, as they approached the final leg of their journey to Midton - they heard the sound of battle ahead on the trail. They approached carefully, piles of heavy crossbows readily available. They were met with a desperate scene - the creature which had mercilessly killed one of their horses scant nights back was doing battle with a trio of caravan guards, the caravan itself left to the side. They spied a merchant cowering within the wagon, too afraid to fight or flee. As they deliberated on their best actions, one of the guards was snatched up in the green monstrosities terrible mandibles, before being cleanly snipped at the torso. The man died screaming. One of his companions took this opportunity to strike the creature, burying his blade deep within the gut of the only half-submerged burrower. He was rewarded for his efforts by a mighty gout of digestive fluids, which eradicated him utterly. Sensing victory, Pepper and Tesco let fly with the crossbows, finishing their horse-stealing foe. Meanwhile, Tesco moved to ransack the still-occupied caravan, and a good haul too - a selection of fine silks. Milk approached the relieved guard, who turned to thank his saviours with open arms - and was met with steel. His final visions were that of Milk, face obscured by the skull of those long-dead, the looted great-sword embedded in his sternum.

As this was going on, Gutch was befuddled by a small box, no doubt some form of coinage-container. Finding himself frustrated by the thing, he tossed it to James angrily to batter the key out of the merchant. Whilst the mercantile traveller was menaced at sword-point, James set about trying his hand at lock-picking. To everyone's surprise and Gutch's delight, the box sprung open to his needle-assault. It was loudly proclaimed that James was now one of them.

The merchant was decapitated in short order, the team having already begun to formulate plans - they would present the bloodstained, torn clothes of the merchant as proof of the dangers of the gigantic insect they had now slain. Having secured the promise of suitable reward, the party would then turn in the head of the creature for said reward, in addition to the renown it would bring. Despite having abused the populace, they felt Midton to be a solid home-base for future endeavours, with a little...re-organization. It would not end quite that way for them at all.

--

Part 1 of like 3-4. We had a huge multi-day running session, so rather a lot to write up. The terrible, morally reprehensible antics continue it seems.

Orphaned Characters

I was looking through my characters folder when I realised that few of them have games any more. I figured I'd post the character details here, and if people are interested I'll put the stats and the such up. If you use any of them as NPCs I'd love to hear about it.

Ancis Tane, Reluctant Skeleton

Ancis was born to a pair of retired adventurers, and was inspired by their tales to follow the family tradition. He trained relentlessly as a dungeoneering rogue, and finally set out on his 19th birthday to seek fame and fortune.

Sadly, this ended in disaster. The crew had been hired to take out a necromancer who had infested a local tomb. They had reached the villans lair, only to be absolutely slaughtered by the magical onslaught. And so it was the necromancer set about his rituals to raise them as fresh minions. As fate would have it, the groups Paladin had barely survived, and struck down the necromancer mid-incantation before expiring himself. The result of this was an incomplete raise dead spell - a skeleton with free will.

Ancis couldn't bear to go back home, having failed at the first hurdle. He knew his parents would be disappointed with his new found status, and so he resolved to fix the issue himself - get filthy rich to afford a resurrection spell that would still function on him.

He was forced to wear a metal mask, which went oddly unquestioned. He also had to find convenient excuses to avoid healing from the groups cleric, instead performing battle-field repairs with the bones of fallen enemies.

Balen Ralacio, Errant Bard

Balen was born to better things. The son of a knight of considerable standing, he was trained well in the arts of chivalry and war, or so his father thought. In actual fact, he was usually chasing the women around the castle grounds and sneaking into the attached town. His father increasingly despaired of him, until the final straw - Balen was discovered mid-coitus with a noblewoman from a rivalling family. He jumped before he was pushed, entering into self-exile and wandering the world, picking up useful skills as he went.

He thought of himself as hot shit, basically put. Rather than sing tales of other heroes to inspire his allies, he would sing about his own greatness and the shortcomings of the enemies. His main pursuit was carnal pleasure, especially when he could bed a noblewoman. He was a pig of a man, and pretty thoroughly horrific if jovial about it.

Biraeg the Scythian, Warlord in Waiting

A friend was planning a game set in the murky times of Greek myth. Rather than playing a civilized welp, I rolled up a bastard-hard horse archer nomad. Biraeg the Scythian was covered head-to-foot in tattoos, took the heads of his enemies as they fell before him and smoked copious amounts of marijuana. He had abysmal people skills owing to his complete disregard of Greek culture and customs, but could not be matched in speed or archery prowess.

Something we were looking forwards to was his mirth at the Greek pantheon interfering with his destiny - to lead his people in a glorious war/migration, which would have ran parallel to the actual migration of the Scythian peoples.

Abdullah, Desert-Dwelling-Dwarf

Rather than playing a straight dwarf from the mountains, I decided to try something a bit more left-of-field, hence Abdullah the Arabic-influenced Dwarf Wizard, who made his money as a merchant. He was a complete bastard, playing LE to the letter and somehow steering the party towards his chosen goals.

Notable achievements include using the groups rogue to test a trap, (leading to his death) as well as murdering the party's paladin later on - though arguably this was in self defence. Despite his horrific inclinations, he ended up being the party negotiator due to his mercantile inclinations.

This campaign was notable for pocket-sand being thrown at every god-damn opportunity, leaving many enemies unable to fight back as our rag-tag band of escaped prisoners beat them down.

LotFP Session 3 Writeup

After an extended break, our 'heroes' are back. Props to the commenter who described them as 'The Master Bastards', the group loved it. I'll have to link the dungeon used once the group has run entirely through it. With no further introduction, we continue our adventure.

--

Having rested after the previous night's revelries (theft, fighting, hanky-panky and some more theft) the group discussed plans for the near future. Having been hired to raid a tomb about two days out, they decided to give Tesco ample time to copy across some spells as well as ensuring that Pepper's plate would be completed. Despite the generous time given (10 days), Tesco only managed to copy a single spell across - Sleep. During this time, Abraham Von Gutchensmark refused to eat the standard pub fare, dining only at the most expensive eateries about town. Meanwhile, the rest of our group got friendly with a fellow group of adventurers heading in the same direction. They decided to journey together, seeking safety in numbers - or so they claimed. Other notable events include Milk paying a bitter old lady a significant sum for tuition in the art of poison making whilst Gutch acquired his first retainer - an apprentice tailor (A Von Gutchensmark must always look his best!) With this done, our group set out.

The other group of adventurers had sent an advance party ahead of the group, claiming they would 'prepare the ground' for their next job. However, the group refused to share any details regarding this job, saying that the nature of the 'snatch job' made it impossible. Oddly, our group decided to respect this professionalism. The first day of travel passed without incident, the area around the town being relatively civilized and hospitable. Our group set up in a small clearing, obviously intended for travellers in the woodland of this country. In order to ease any possible hostility, both groups agreed to post a guard, reducing the chances of treachery.

The first watch was taken by Pepper and Doug, one of the other group. Doug attempted to have a friendly conversation with Pepper, which went something like this -

"So, you be the fightin' man of yer outfit?"

*Pepper nods completely silently*

"Well...okay then."

At which point he moved to the other side of the clearing. At this point, Tesco arose, speaking his words of power, ensnaring the other group in a enchanted sleep. Following this, Pepper charged and slew the posted guard whilst the rest of the group set about murdering the sleeping adventurers. James (the apprentice tailor) watched on in horror as this happened, and continued to stare on aghast as our brave champions searched through their pockets. They gathered up the signature heavy crossbows of the group, and positioned the bodies to appear as though they had been ambushed, shooting one of the bodies multiple times. They performed a similar procedure on one of their horses before saddling up the rest and riding away.

They travelled through the dark for a couple of hours before coming across the next clearing, electing to make camp there. This time, they decided to post Milk and Gutch as guards. During Milk's watch, he spotted something most unusual - a pair of thin, branch-like protrusions in the road. They twitched at him when he moved. Taking this as a sign of friendliness, he waved his fingers back. Eventually, the protrusions retracted and there was a low bass rumble from the ground. When the watch switched over, Milk informed Gutch of this oddity. Gutch resolved to watch the road for the most part, only occasionally checking elsewhere.

So it was for several hours, until he performed his routine perimeter check - they were back, but this time on the forested side. Gutch quickly lost patience with the game that had so amused Milk, and matched to his tent to kick him awake. Upon this rapid movement, a terrible and great insect tore out of the ground where the antenna were, a clicking of it's mandibles filling the air and it's strange stink infected the air. The rest of the party were shocked awake by this, but not Gutch. Channelling the true spirit of a Von Gutchensmark, he bravely threw his sword at the beast. Though this attempt missed horribly, he did give a tree a solid lesson in swordsmanship.

Ignoring this, the insectile aberration snatched up one of their freshly stolen horses in its jaws, before dragging the unfortunate equine back into it's subterranean lair. The sound of terrible crunching and the screaming of the horse echoed forth, finally cut off by the collapsing of the temporary tunnel. At this point, the group agreed 'getting the fuck out of there' was the best bet.

Dawn found the party somewhat more rested, although on the move - they had slept in the cart whilst riding through the night, giving the casters plenty of time to prepare spells. The plan for the day was to search out the burial mound the tomb was located under, which should be located in a clearing somewhere in the forest. Thankfully, it was not long before they managed this. Hiding in the tree line, they saw a long approach to the large, narrow earth-work. Stone slabs made up the entrance at the front, leading into the interior of the tomb. They also noticed a cluster a trees crowning the mound, with what appeared to be a large sheet stretched between them, forming a crude roof.

Gutch decided to flank the mound, using the tree line as cover whilst the main group would march forwards towards the mound. The plan was to give Gutch a head-start, allowing him time to scout out the top of the mound from cover. Upon reaching his vantage point, he could make out three large humanoid figures atop the hill. At this point, Milk and Pepper set out, shields raised whilst Tesco flitted about behind them, clutching a heavy crossbow. The figures atop the hill spotted our adventurers, and a hunting horn rang out. In response, Gutch fired off his crossbow, scoring an early kill on one of the creatures, which were now charging down-hill towards our group.

They were 9 foot furred humanoids, with features somewhere between dog and hyena. The remaining two clutched two-handed weapons and were clad in rough leather armour. As they closed on our party, they were subject to two missile attacks - Tesco let fly a crossbow bolt, severely weakening one. Milk followed this up with a tossed spear at the last possible second, which lodged in the throat of the injured beast, finishing it off. The halberd-wielding Gnoll swung hard at Pepper, who none-the-less fought off the blows. However, our merry band had not noticed a flanking group of two, who slammed straight into the group, swinging their weapons - whilst Tesco avoided harm, Milk was struck down. Only unconscious, but out of the fight. To worsen the situation, another two of the creatures crested the mound.

The situation looked dire, and Tesco knew what he had to do. He spoke the words that tore asunder reality, allowing the denizens of Chaos itself to slip through and make merry hell upon our world. A terrible Demon-Snake poured forth, a stinking smoke rising from it's body. It leapt upon one of the beasts atop the mound, coiling him over and over in it's terrible folds. Luckily, the stinking fumes were enough to leave the victim and it's companion retching, unable to fight back. The Gnolls doom was sealed.

Seeing Milk go down, Gutch realised that the time for derring-do and brave deeds was upon him. He charged the creature responsible, stabbing his foe in the back with his short sword, dealing a terrible injury upon it. Despite this, the foe stood yet, malice clear in its eyes. Pepper dispatched the creature attacking Tesco, but remained mindful of the original halberd armed foe, who took the chance to swing for him - yet still he failed to get to grips with Peppers new plate. Unluckily, the grievously injured Gnoll repaid Gutch in kind, spinning on the spot and downing him in a single blow. The Snake-Demon's chosen victim was helpless, the life being crushed out of him every moment. His companion stumbled out of the smoke, and tried to engage the snake at range with his spear, but failed to loosen it's grip.

Tesco downed the grievously injured foe responsible for dropping Gutch and Milk, whilst Pepper began laying about the foe who had troubled him since the beginning. The snake finished it's first victim and sprung after the second, successfully constricting him. The terrible squeezing began. The remaining Gnoll made a hail-mary attempt on Pepper to no avail. The remaining party members made quick work of the unfortunate individual, and Tesco released the Snake of it's binding, allowing it to return from whence it came.

At this point our group set about looking after their injured companions. Most self-sacrificingly, Milk used his healing spell on Gutch, bringing him back up to full health, at which point he finished the previous sentence "A Von Gutchensmark never goes ... DOWN!" The party, at this point, decided to rest the day, allowing Milk to heal up before they headed into the barrows below. Pepper agreed to guard the slumbering Milk and the cart whilst Gutch and Tesco did some investigating. They first looted the bodies, grabbing a pair of keys and some pocket change. They then checked out a strange depression in the side of the hill Gutch had spotted earlier. It appeared there was a solid structure under the earth and grass, but they decided to leave it for now. Their final destination was the top of the mound, what they correctly assumed to be the Gnoll camp.

Once there, they discovered a locked chest amongst the filthy furs and scraps of material which seemed for form bedding. Tesco attempted to open the chest with his looted key, and was rewarded with the satisfying thunk of a lock opening. Inside the chest was a great deal of mixed coinage, which they approximated at 2000 silver. They shared a look. That look said 'We earned this.' They quickly distributed the coins into four pouches 'evenly', with Milk and Pepper receiving 400 silver whilst the other two walked away with 600 each. That is, if Gutch hadn't scooped 10 silver from each pot without Tesco noticing. With their trustworthy distribution of wealth completed, they dragged the loot downhill to share their find with the group.

Besides this, nothing of note happened on their 'off-day' besides Tesco attempting to copy down another spell. Surprisingly, he managed this in only two days, giving the party time to recuperate and have a full spell selection for the crawl ahead. To add to this, Milk felt his connection to his deity grow stronger, infusing him with an extra spell a day. They sought out a sturdy branch to serve as a torch, and began their delve through the front entrance. Milk brought up the front, wielding torch and spear, followed closely by the inimitable Abraham Von Gutchensmark. Third was Tesco, carrying a mace looted from their erstwhile companions whilst Pepper defended the rear with shield and a similarly looted mace.

They came to the first T junction, surrounded by the old old stonework of the place. Milk stuck his head around to corner, fortuitously looking left first - this gave him enough time to move his head away from the swung blade! An ancient reinforced skeleton rattled to life, obviously prepared in a combat stance. Milk failed to strike back, and shuffled back into the opposite turning on the T junction. This freed up room for Gutch to take a swing with his 10 foot pole, attempting to smash the undead foe into the wall. Sadly, his clumsy improvised weapon was blocked by the iron-bound dead. Tesco rolled into position under the swung pole, swinging for the legs with his mace. This both damaged and tripped the skeleton, leading directly to Pepper finishing the beast with a full-plate axe-kick.

Certain that they would face traps and enemies at this point, our party began the tried and tested method of tapping EVERYTHING with a long implement. The right hand turn led to another turn to their left, which featured a small set of stairs leading to a longer passage, broken by a doorway or turn about half-way down. Moving slowly down the stairs, Milk activated a pressure-plate with his spear. The tell-tale click of a mechanism was all the group needed- the front two members leapt back, crushing Tesco between their combined weight and the full-plated figure of Pepper. A ludicrous saw blade flashed before them, perfectly positioned to eviscerate a less-wise adventurer. Milk laid out a scrap of fabric to mark the trapped plate, and the party cautiously advanced into the passage.

The depression on the left side revealed itself to indeed be a doorway. The stone door was left slightly open - just enough to reveal a tiny slit of the room inside. Our brave adventurers argued over what to do at this before a plan was reached - Pepper pushed the door open. A blinding flash filled the underground space, blinding Milk for a good 20 seconds whilst the rest simply lost their limited night adaptation. Sight slowly restored, they found an empty room. Tesco told you so.

This distraction complete, they made the decision to move on, advancing as before. They met yet another T junction, although this one was lacking in skeletal foes. Instead, they saw a small font atop a dais to their right, and a passage to their left. Tesco set about inspecting this font, noting several things about it - there was no drainage, and a small metal tube set into the wall. Milk resolved to test the steps of the dais. The first step - nothing. The second step - a spray of black liquid spewed forth from the font, which ignited on the torch, the resulting detonation causing damage group-wide, knocking them all flat and extinguishing their source of light. Milk yelled about being struck blind whilst Tesco fumbled for his hooded lantern. The self-lighting mechanism saved them from a grisly, oily but mostly scorchingly hot death. Using this light source, they carefully picked their way out of the mound, resolving to give it another day perhaps.

James had several oily sets of clothes thrown at him as Gutch changed into a fresh set. Once again, another day and night passed without event. Whilst the morning was fresh, the group set once more into the unchanged-tomb, quickly reaching the point they had achieved before. They now investigated the newly found passage, which ended in a set of stair spiralling down and to the right. Moving down cautiously, they noted how the passage opened up, allowing for them to stand two-abreast, but also allowing for the use of larger weapons. At the foot of the stairs was an immediate doorway to the left, whilst the main passage continued forwards. Once again, Milk had a peek around the corner. He was met with the sight of no less than a dozen skeletons, clad in chain and armed with magnificent greatswords. As he ducked back round to inform his party, they audibly snapped for face him. Milk and Pepper formed a shield wall at the base of the stairs, allowing Gutch and Tesco to fight over the top of them. By the time this was set up, the terrible creatures were upon them. Wave after wave beat themselves against the defensive wall, until a single blow was landed on Pepper.

Once of the long-dead marched towards Pepper, as the previous three had. Rather than swing at him mindlessly, something possessed this one to strike over the top of the shield, punching straight through the plate armour. The blade was driven through his insides, unwinding his innards and punching out the other side. Pepper collapsed, seemingly mortally injured. Milk leapt over, and spoke his healing words quickly, snatching Pepper back from the brink of death. He stood back up, and fought with redoubled vigour. After this point, they were fighting a winning battle, and made work of the remaining foes without incident, though they were all thoroughly exhausted by the number of opponents.

Mechs and Howitzers

A friend recently ran an experimental game about mechs blowing each other the fuck up. We used a simple system he had cobbled together out of various parts, with the combat system being entirely bespoke. The primary motivation for the game was the guys love of Steel Battalion, something I can support. Seriously, go read about this game before going on, it's pretty badass.

So, the main divergence point with Steel Battalion is the agility of your mechs (known as Vertical Tanks in-universe) as well as the targeting systems available. Thanks to computer assisted aiming for almost all weapons, each weapon discharge is assumed to hit unless the target takes preventative measures, which for most weapons involves a dodge move to the left/right. Whilst the VT is pretty mobile, dodging like this strains the system, meaning you can only do it every so often (we worked it as once per turn rotation) without specialist systems or skills.

Seeing as we were playing as a routine merc. group, we only had the most basic mechs available to us, which led to a feeling of our mechs simultaneously durable and fragile - you can avoid being hit, but if you get cornered or focused, you are going to quickly explode horribly. Furthermore, the mech is not your character - the pilot inside is getting the feedback of shots impacting. This was represented by addition 'force' damage dice, which represented the chance of powerful weapons to both throw the pilot around or knock a mech flat - a dangerous position. Being on the floor means no dodging, meaning you get pinged by shots over and over.

The other important thing to note about combat in this universe is the importance in ranging - most weapons have a minimum range they can't be used within, the rounds pinging uselessly off armour. The majority of combat relies on you positioning effectively between your minimum and maximum ranges whilst trying to spoil the opponents ranges.

To give the system a whirl, we were tasked with conducting an ambush on a small convoy consisting of 3 non-combatant carriers and 2 medium-weight enemies, known as Scarefaces. Our motley crew consisted of myself in a heavy-weight mech I had kitted out almost entirely to smash into others with a close-combat weapon, a pair of long-range firepower mechs and an EWAR/Spotter role light mech who was tasked with guarding the heavy hitters.

Unfortunately, we got spotted in our ambush and this led to a messy engagement. Thanks to the inherent clumsiness of a heavyweight mech, I fell flat on my face attempting to close distance, getting a rifle slug in my side for the trouble. Our ranged section was far more effective, the initial barrage of howitzer shells and rifle fire near-flattening one of our opponents and damaging the other. The said flattened enemy spent their turn picking themselves up, the pilot inside panicking and losing an action for it.

In the next turn rotation, I spent my entire turn attempting (and eventually succeeding) in righting my machine, whilst the already damaged target was finished off with another round of pummelling. The remaining target attempted to retaliate against the howitzer-user, who was saved by the EWAR mech firing down a locked-on missile.

I finally redeemed myself by tearing open the remaining armed enemy, removing the cockpit from it's rightful place, leaving plenty of salvageable material. The small carrier mechs were now attempting to flee. One of them was 'convinced' to surrender, whilst the other two were destroyed. The first took a burst of machine-gun fire into the back, scoring hits into the gas-regulator systems, causing toxic fumes to gas out the pilot. This was only possible due to reduced armour facing in the back, giving a small chance of hitting vitals. The remaining carrier was flattened entirely by the ranged team and their sustained fire.

Overall, we all had a blast with this, though we will probably use a miniature grid in future for distancing purposes. Some of the stuff I didn't cover here includes the perks you were given access to, which enabled extra options within combat. All of us look forwards to playing out more of this system, as well as refining it as time goes by.

LotFP Session 2

Previously, our somewhat amoral adventurers cleared out their first dungeon, which was stuffed to the brim with goblins. Having lied about the deaths of their fellows, Tesco and Gutch had secured a bargain on a horse and carriage, allowing them to cover far more distance. The party reconvened, and set off, about 2 days travel from the town of Midton.

The first day of travel passed uneventfully, the party electing to camp by the roadside rather than push on overnight. Pepper's watch passed without incident, and so he seamlessly passed the watch to over Gutch. The watch was dragging on when Gutch felt hot breath at his back. He span round to face the source of this - a huge elk, watching him without apparent fear or malice. They held eyes for a moment before the Elk touched it's nose to his, transferring an incredibly sense of calm. Gutch simply watched, transfixed, as the Elk then walked out the encampment. He elected to not worry his companions with this event, and continued his watch as before.

Morning dawned on the camp, and the began moving with first light. This journey was for the most part uneventful, though the group did spy some figures moving in the deeper woods - heavy hooded cloaks moving in some sort of procession. The party ignored them and vice versa.

With this encounter behind them, the group entered the perimeter of Midton, a middling town known locally as the mercantile hub. They had made good time and decided to look around the town before settling down for the evening. The group had heard of two points of interest - a jeweller who could appraise and purchase the rock crystal they had acquired as well as someone claiming to be a magic user in the town. Milk and Tesco set off to see the latter, whilst Gutch and Pepper elected to visit the jeweller.

With Pepper standing guard over the carriage, chest and horse, Gutch attempted to deal with the jeweller whilst casing the joint, planning larceny at a later date. He eventually haggled the jeweller down to 65 silver for each workable piece of crystal, giving them a nice boost to their coffers. Being a Von Gutchensmark, however, he chose to lie about the total he had received, withholding two hundred silver from the total pot to be shared. With his business concluded he left the establishment, giving Pepper his (diminished) share.

Meanwhile, Tesco and Milk had found the supposed wizards tower, and were dismayed to see a considerable queue. Some fast talk and bribery later, Tesco and Milk were in the waiting room on the ground floor. As the previous client left, our pair of 'heroes' went upstairs to meet the magician.

They found a doddering old man who had an impressive collection of knick-knacks, artefacts and tomes. As Milk was proudly displaying his greatsword to the man, Tesco slipped a hefty looking tome into his travelling pack, barely avoiding notice in doing so. With this concluded, and the wizard informing the swords were simply enchanted to glow and to be resistant to rust, Tesco mentioned their crystal foe from the gully, presenting a shard of the rock crystal. Selling this curio to the man, Tesco asked if he could borrow from the wizard's extensive library, on accounts of the previous customer having walked out carrying a large tome. The man was visibly shaken, checking his bookshelf to indeed see a space where a certain tome should be. He ordered his guards to seek out this customer, and to send away all other potential clients. Tesco then enquired as to the possibility of paid work - something this man could indeed over. If the group were to fetch him the beard-ring of an ancient king of note, they would be handsomely rewarded. Eager for work, our group agreed and left to inform their companions. As they moved out, Tesco gave the book a quick scan - he had hit the jackpot, and had stolen a genuine spell book!

They met at a pre-arranged point to exchange information and coin. Milk and Pepper wanted to check for an armourer about the town whilst Gutch had very different plans. Tesco busied himself with finding a guard for their rooms, where they would stash their booty whilst out seeking the ring. Wandering around the market, Pepper found an armourer willing to order in a suit of plate for him, with the caveat it would take about a week to be ready. Milk instead spent his money on a suit of chain-mail and a pair of locks for their chest.

Meanwhile, Abraham Von Gutchensmark had decided to spend his ill-gotten gains in a manner typical to his family name, dropping the majority of his wealth on the most extravagant outfits from the best tailor in town. Seven 'day suits' at one hundred silver a piece and something 'to go out in' valued at over a thousand silver. These opulent garments would take roughly a week to complete, something he agreed to happily.

Tesco, the most demanding of employers, had turned down several candidates on account of 'lippyness' before he found the man he felt best suited to the job. Overpaying the man considerably, Tesco led him to the rooms he was to be guarding. The party met up at this point, leading to Milk tipping the guard again as Gutch explained his plans for the evening -

The party would find the most riotous, loudest bar. Gutch would loudly and publicly drop fifty silver buying anyone who asked that night for a drink, on the condition it was given 'on behalf of Abraham Von Gutchensmark.' With this phase complete, the rest of the party would cause a huge brawl to erupt, giving Gutch ample opportunity to sneak out - earlier in the day, he had scouted out some likely marks for robbery.

The first part of the plan went off without a hitch bar one minor snag - Tesco found a fellow magic user in the bar, a woman who was not at all interested in getting involved in a brawl. She used her magic to put a section of the fight to sleep, slipping out the door. Curious at this, Tesco followed her out, determined to steal a second spell book that day. He followed her for sometime before she rounded on him violently, demanding to know why he was following her. He explained that he too was a wizard, and suggested they continue the conversation indoors. She sighed, and led him to her tavern room elsewhere.

Meanwhile, Gutch was psyching himself up to commit some burglary. Having found his target, he noted that only a single candle was lit in the building. This done, he deftly hopped the fence, moving towards the back door. Reaching into his lightened pack (having stashed his heavier equipment with the chest) he withdrew a small set of basic lock-picks, and set to work at the back doors. The relatively simple mechanisms sprung open before him, granting him access. He padded his way into the house, snagging a coin purse as he went. Finding only noisy loot downstairs, he slowly worked his way up the stairs, finding a corridor with 3 rooms coming off it. Movement from the only right hand door forced him into action, causing him to open the first door to his left and secret himself inside.

Meanwhile, Tesco was attempting to woo the magic user. He succeeded, and a constitution check ensured he did not feel too sleepy afterwards. The lady, however, did not do so well and was soon asleep. Tesco took this opportunity to pilfer her spell book and flee, heading back to the bar. At this bar, Pepper and Milk had ensured the fight had continued for a good long while, masterfully engaging observers and bystanders into the brawl.

Back at the house, Gutch found himself hiding in a spare room. Footsteps approached the doorway. He slowly took out his garrotte, steeling himself. The footsteps continued past the doorway, seeming to approach a toilet at the end of the corridor. At this point, Gutch made the decision to choke out the poor home-owners, making the theft far easier. As the footsteps passed his doorway again, he stepped out, neatly wrapping the weapon around a middle age man's throat. Within seconds, the man was out cold with barely a peep. Gutch left him lying on the spare bed before slinking over to what he deduced to be the master bedroom. He peered in, and saw the man's wife in bed, facing away from him. He slowly padded over before smothering her with a pillow, leaving her unconscious on the bed. With this done he rooted around the room, scoring an additional coin purse as well as several fine jewellery boxes. With the night's larceny done, he headed back to the bar fight.

He walked in as the fight was finishing up, still slipping in unnoticed. Barely minutes behind him were the watch, no doubt there to mop up whatever was left of the fight. Gutch began leaning into Milk heavily, slurring at the guards who took him for another drunk. Asking the party to make sure that he got home fine, the guards let them group leave unmolested - but not after Pepper grabbed the richest looking patron, saying he'd make sure that he got home safe. He dumped the poor bastard in an alley and robbed him blind. They arrived at their rooms without incident, thanked the guard for his work, and retired for the night.

First LotFP Game

Friday marked my first game of LotFP. Our cast -

Tesco - Burberry Wizard
Milk - Metal as Fuck Cleric
D.Pepper - Fightman
Abraham Von Gutchensmark aka Gutch - Sneaky yet Extravagant Dandy Fop

It would seem the players expected a simple one-shot. I was running this -
http://rpgcharacters.wordpress.com/2009/08/21/friday-map-goblin-gully-a-deadly-one-page-dungeon/

Tesco rolled the spells Spider Climb, Unseen Servant and Mending. Having heard of the capricious powers of the spell Summon, he offered a trade - he would lose Spider Climb and Mending in return for Summon. I agreed to this.

Our band of adventurers stumbled into the town of Farowton, noting the quiet nature of the place. Naturally, they entered the tavern, only to see a group of villagers wheel around to face them. The relief on their faces was palpable, and they quickly informed the group of their troubles - the seemingly violent disappearance of the Erhurr family. Unimpressed by the offer of 10sp and a drink, our party prepared to leave. Whilst doing this, they heard rumours of a magic axe possessed by the Erhurr family. Hearing this, Milk charged off in the general direction of the farm, the rest of the party following in tow.

Upon reaching the farm, they began investigating - a sling bullet had punched through the barn, whilst the main building had been violently entered and ransacked. Milk found a wood axe, which he tested for barn destroying properties - nothing beyond what you'd expect. He elected to keep it in case. The other members of the party found obvious marking of someone/thing being dragged towards yonder hill. This hill, they had been told, was the location of a slave pit from the 'Old Days.' The group was suspicious of the storyteller, an ageing member of a local farmers family.

Despite their doubts, they set off. Von Gutchensmark decided to flank this hill, approaching from the side. He spotted two small figures moving around in the dead branches of a tree atop the hill. Signalling this desperately to the main group, Tesco and Pepper drew their slings whilst Milk rumbled forwards. The creatures in the tree began launching missiles at Milk, failing to land a blow as he marched forwards, shield raised. Gutch, Tesco and Pepper returned fire, knocking down one of the creatures whilst the other clambered down the tree, opening a previously unseen door. Gutch shot it in the back of the head, causing the body to tumble down. Meanwhile, Milk crushed the fallen foe with his shield, creating a pulpy mess.

The party reconvened at the tree, examine their foes - ugly, ochre little humanoids with lumpy misshapen faces and long fingers. They seemed weak in stature, but no doubt dangerous in numbers. With this in mind, they decided to enter the passage in the tree, Tesco lighting the way with his lantern. Clearing the first room for potential threats/treasure, the party heard strange murmurings down below. Advancing cautiously, Tesco stuck his head around the corner, rewarded by a grazing blow from a sling. Moving up the stairs a little, the group elected to attempt to Summon aid. A great tearing ensued, a howling wind driving out a terrible creature from the Outside - a Thorny blood demon. Tesco failed his domination roll miserably, and the creature was mad as fuck, chasing them all the way out of the area, and continuing for another few minutes before returning to whence it came. Milk decided to test his axe once more, tossing the axe at the animate pool of blood. It did not seem to be effective.

Having beat a hasty retreat, the party decided to rest the night in the barn of the looted farm. Their second watch was interrupted by the villagers, going back through the area for signs. They heard mutterings from them, saying that the errant adventurers must've gone to the hill, and noting them having not yet returned. The caused our band to become mighty suspicious, stacking up either side of the barn door to launch a surprise attack. Eventually, a villager did open the doors and was surprised at 4 armed men threatening him with varying sharp objects. An exchange was had at length, and the villagers eventually left, somewhat smarting from the verbal beat-down Tesco laid down. With that done, the party returned to sleep, resting up for the next day.

Fully rested and recovered, the party set off early to investigate the area. They got to the same point as the day before, with a conspicuous lack of bodies (or axe, to Milk's dismay) Tesco felt it wise to attempt the same stunt again, tearing apart reality to let slip a horrific demon, this time able to control it - a ball of pure lightning, electrocuting and burning their foes. They heard the screeching and desperate footsteps cut short, before the creature returned to whence it came, leaving Tesco exhausted for the time being. They advanced slowly down the stair way, coming to a large hallway, marked with scorch marks and burning, blackened corpses. Milk spotted his axe, the handle charcoal and the head slag in the hands of one of his enemies. Probably wasn't magic after all.

At one end of this hall was a grinning demon, squatting down and on all fours. Whilst looking at this, an arrow flew forth from the demons mouth, barely missing Pepper. Pepper and Milk formed a shield wall, with Gutch and Tesco sticking close behind them. Using this method, they advanced without injury to the end of the hall, sticking to either side of the mouth. Gutch had spied a small tunnel they could crawl through, seeing sunlight on the other side. The party discussed plans for advancing careful, which bored Tesco to the point of foolish action - he used his backpack as cover , pushing it ahead of him as he moved through the crawlspace. Gutch leapt in behind him, leaving Milk and Pepper at the back.

Several arrows thunked harmlessly into the back before Tesco fell out of the tunnel, landing between a pair of the creatures they had been fighting, both wielding clubs. Courtesy of a natural 20, Tesco tripped one and caved his skull in whilst Gutch nimbly rolled out of the tunnel and began choking the other creature, taking advantage of its surprise. Milk and Pepper emerged into this scene, with Tesco relieving the corpses of their bows and arrows, equipping himself with them. The party pushed on, emerging into the titular Gully. The two sides of the complex were bridged - once by an ancient stone structure matching the masonry they had seen thus far, and the other a rough looking rope bridge over the stone one. Gutch went first, finding the rope bridge sturdy enough. He found himself in a room with two exits - a hole in the ceiling, with rope hanging down, and a set of stairs leading further down to his right. As he waited for Pepper to join him, he heard something from above. He moved silently over the to hole, only to see the surprised face of one of the creature. Moving quickly, he shot it in the face, causing it to tumble from the hole, driving the arrow further into it's head, killing it instantly. No further excitement delayed the party in gathering in this room.

The party elected to send Gutch down the stairs to scout, a duty he took seriously. He stealthly padded down the stairs, peeking in the half-light into a room with six more of these creatures - four sleeping, two playing dice. Returning to inform the party, they formed a plan to deal with these foes. Tesco shot and wounded one of the goblins playing dice as Gutch snuck up behind the other, choking it out with his garrotte, quickly becoming a favourite weapon. Meanwhile, Milk and Pepper both set about the sleeping goblins. Pepper dispatched his easily, but Pepper's survived the first attack.

The goblins retaliated, with the one shot by Tesco bashing Gutch around the head viciously, knocking him out cold. The one of the sleeping goblins snatched up a weapon, whilst the other one leapt up and prepared himself for a charge. The goblin injured by Milk took a swing, missing horribly. At this point the group heard a loud THUNK from up the stairs, but elected to ignore it for now. Milk finished off his goblin whilst Pepper dispatched another. Tesco finished off what he started with another arrow, leaving only the unarmed goblin. It ripped away Peppers shield, slamming it into the shins of pepper, putting him to his knees. The rest of the party made short work of it however, and Gutch fortuitously regained conciousness, before being healed by Milk. The party charged up the stairs to investigate the noise, which was now a heavy scraping noise. The were met with the sight of four of the creatures, one obviously some sort of leader, dragging a large chest towards the rope bridge. Tesco and Gutch opened fire, taking out one of the guards easily, whilst Milk and Pepper charged down the leader, jumping over the chest nimbly. Milk failed to do much, but Pepper scored a telling blow on the chieftain.

The two guards turned and retailed for the leader, one each striking either Milk or Pepper, though both failed to make a significant blow connect. The leader attempted to strike Pepper, but was unable to inflict any damage. Tesco and Gutch fired at the guards once again, both making the shot, injuring them. Pepper struck down the chieftain, whilst Milk dispatched the guard attacking him. Once again, the party made short work of the remaining goblin.

Checking the chest, they found the hoard of the creatures, a considerable sum. They carried this back up the hole in the ceiling, and elected to rest having ensured they were in a safe space, finding farmers clothes, a scroll and a potion in the process. The night passed uneventfully, and they pressed on, leaving the chest in this area, believing it to be safe. They chose Milk to stand guard of the room connected to the rope bridge, as they wished to investigate the barracks - there was a door with a barricade constructed on their side. They began disassembling the barricade as Milk pocked around the room, kind of bored. He chanced upon a hidden door, and began poking at his with the butt end of his spear. The door began sliding back, revealing an extra passage way. Meanwhile, the party had finished removing the barricade, and opened the door. A dark pit, extending deep below them. The stink reached them, nearly causing them to retch, but this did not worry them so much as the noise of gurgling and splashing. They hastily re-barricaded the door.

By sheer luck, Milk heard a grinding from above, causing him to leap backwards, narrowly avoiding being crushed to death by a huge rock. The rest of the party charged up to investigate this noise. They elected to move the rock and investigate the passage beyond it. With this done, they saw a small passage leading to a stairway, flanked by skeletons wielding glowing greatswords. Suspicious, Pepper put a sling bullet through the head of one of them, causing them to animate and close in on our group. As before, Pepper and Milk formed a wall whilst Tesco used his sling to score another telling blow against the already-damaged creature. Gutch decided to improvise, and tried to use his 10' pole as a staff. He succeeded in pushing over the already-shaky skeleton, shattering it with the impact. The remaining skeletons attempted to strike down Pepper unsuccessfully, who shield-bashed the skeleton, throwing it backwards and doing some significant damage. Milk finished it off by charging it into a wall, also gripping his shield in two hands. The unholy things defeated, they gathered the swords, stashed them with the chest and pressed ahead.

Gutch scouted ahead, treading the stairs carefully. In the dim light, the thing that stood out most was a large crystalline statue miming the figure of the skeletons from the passage. The floor and walls were covered in decaying weapons, containers and armour. The party informed of this, they took the first tentative steps into the room, careful to avoid disturbing anything. They could not see anything valuable, but could not bear to leave the room alone, leading Tesco to mess up a pile of trash. The statue animated and began moving towards them, leading to Tesco throwing out a desperate Summon. He was gifted with a Crystal demon, which began whaling the statue, smashing it to tiny pieces before returning to whence it came. They party gathered up the fragments of crystal, feeling it worth selling in a larger town. With this done, they felt the job done, and headed back to town.

They returned to town to inform them of the grim news, with Milk and Pepper guarding the loot outside of town. Tesco decided to inform the villagers that their friends had perished in the struggles under the hill, and would appreciate a horse and cart to transport the bodies to their families. The villagers were moved by this, and gave them slashed rates on purchasing the above. They also gave advice to head to Midton to sell the crystal they had discovered. With this done, Tesco and Gutch met up with the party and left, Midton about two days travel distant.

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In running this, the players really enjoyed the massively stripped-back and lightweight rules compared to 3.5, our main system. They also really enjoyed the aspect of actually needing to ask questions and examine the environment rather than simply making a search roll. Though initially nervous about the massively higher lethality, they quickly learnt to love it as they had several rapid and dangerous combat encounters in which the stakes were always evident. The lack of predefined options led them to be far more willing to improvise in combat and out of combat, leading to a great game overall. All of us are looking forwards to playing with the system more, something which will hopefully happen soon.