Friday, 14 September 2018

River Trolls

more monsters for envisioned Swyvers expansion or whatever - less of a thing to murder this time - maybe? whatever. Not 

RIVER TROLLS, Rotten Jenny, BilgeTroll, Bridgetroll

HD 9
Attack x1
+3 Smash 2d10 - those struck are flung 3d12 feet
-2 Flail - 360 AOE 1d10, uses both attacks
Defence 8
Armour As Decent Light (rubbery skin)
Mov as huge shambling mound
Init As long weapon
Morale 5 Bilge OR 11 Guardian
1d4 Bilge or 1d4-2 Guardian Appearing

All stand as high as two men, despite their hunched over posture, round misshapen faces low between shoulders broad, skin rubbery and foul, ranging tan-green to mossy black. All speak a broken half-tongue, yet seem not to struggle to understand men.

There are two types of River Troll - those which guard bridges, a task set by the invaders from across the sea. Then there are the Bilge Trolls, those who have abandoned their tasks, running rogue, flesh forever rotting and regrowing, despoiling rivers and wells. They will often build standing stones, marking territory and giving them a new 'bridge' of sorts - although pointing this out drives them wild.

Both varieties are delighted by drink.

1 Drowners
2 Dwarves
3 Other Trolls?
4 Mosskin

1  Bury a dog in the foundation of the bridge, and that`s how you get a bridgetroll. Remove the dog? Remove the troll!
2  Smell exactly as bad as they are.
3  Petrified of goats?
4  Filthy stinkin wellpissers
5  Cannot abide yew smoke
6  Adores the flesh of cats
7  Slumber only during full-moon
8+  Must be paid in drink

ACTIVITY - Guardian
1  Only allows passage to those carrying hard, expensive liqour, rather than the traditional [local drink]
2  Has been stealing stones to repair bridge with rather than requesting them
3  Bridge is falling into disrepair and the troll is getting slimier...
4  Local ruler thinks it very backwards to still have a bridgetroll, wants it removed.
5  Theft of local livestock
6  Destroyed something in drunken stupor/rampage
7  Has gone missing - please bring it back
8  Entirely disallowing usage of it`s bridge, has already killed someone attempting it.

1  Poisoning the water supplies in the town, 70% chance accidentally
2  Theft of livestock
3  Acting as bandits of land and water
4  Continiously threatening violence if not plied with alcohol
5  Still attempting to collect some form of toll
6  Deliberate campaign of terror, general mayhem

1  Just upriver of the settlement
2  Squatting about a tiny tributary
3  Beneath a waterfall in the wilds
4  Down an abandoned well
5  Important water resovoir
6  Moat of local fortification
7  Flooded basement
8  Local fishfarm/fishery

1  General malaise for a thankless task
2  Getting over failed troll-marriage
3  Bad mating season
4  traveller opened it`s eyes to other possibilities
5  being coerced by someone threating to destroy bridge
6  something stopping access to traditional source of material/booze etc

Saturday, 25 August 2018

horrible jungle


I bought a Pomera which is a fancy japanese electronic notepad and it's cool

this is a thing from that which is barely even tidied up

would be statted for Stormbringer but I'm sick 

use your imagination

The jungle is thick and moist, home to endless poison blooms, striking flowers with barbs across the shaft, strangle-coils, winged lizards, apes of all sizes and predatory cats.

The bat riders of the Mountain hunt for rare herbs and chattel here, using the thermals of the desert to stay aloft, pig-faced goblinoids with lances and billhooks, their monkey-slaves descending on chains and scampering about, fleeing all danger unless commanded to attack by their masters, when they descend in a wild flurry of nail and tooth.


1 - site of recent deadfall
2 - stranglevine infestation, roll again, 50% on playerside, 50% other creature
3 - ruins emerge from the foliage...
1 temple 2 "castle" 3 house 4 barracks 5 mysterious 6 unrecognisable
4 - a choked river winding through the maze of fallen wood
5 - the centre of a fallen tree bridging a chasm or such
6 - clifface in a valley
7 - crawlspace underneath fallen trees
8 - near fireant nest roll again
9 - near pool of waterfall pool
0 - entagled in the undergrowth, thick with fern and creeper.

1 - Barkskin Halfmen 3d4,
  1) defending
   2) hunting
   3) curious
   4) fleeing
   6) sabotaging
2 - Half-intelligent monkeys 3d12, chattering and swinging, roll again and combine
   4)mating display
3 - Great Apes, degenerates of the civilisation of the jungle, some still bear stone weapons, artefacts of what has been lost. 25% entire tribe (3d12) else smaller group (1d8), of various purposes
   1 warparty
   2 foragers
   3 shelter-builders
   4 worshippers(ruins)
   5 "farmers"
   6 exiles
4 - Dream Tiger, and you are it`s prey. Can evoke fictions which are real to observer.Incredibly cruel, loves to toy with food, but loves itself more
defeat through vanity.
5 - batriders (1d6 (one bat each) + 3d4 monkey slaves) from the mountains, seeking SLAVES or HERBS or SCOUTING.
6 - carnivirious vegetation, prowling, using potential supplies as bait.
7 - stalked by vampiric bats, potential to carry some manner of disease, 1 large swarm
8 - huge swarms of flying lizards, all bright colours, confusing and dizzying
9 - Pirahana-equivalent infested waterway
10- Gigantic Spiders, weaving tunnel webs and watching eight times over...
11- Toad face, lower body a mess of slimy tentacles, with evil intention
12- Animate stone golem, weeping at the loss of their civilisation, brought
out of their black anger by a new purpose.

Tuesday, 21 August 2018


Fair warning - these elves are not fun and do awful things.


Still working on monster hunting for a hypothetical swyvers (hence swyvers stats) expansion. This is what a monster entry would look like - probably not this layout though. That's just because why not

Monday, 2 July 2018



The knife-edge of cosmic horror is that single moment of realization wherein an inky black vista yawns wide before you, utterly engulfing the entire world you knew and rendering it insignificant whilst being utterly unknowable by it's very nature - not only have your illusions been shattered, you're not getting a new one - this being the cut, severing you utterly, leaving you floating, alone. And that's pretty neat.

In the abstract our insignificance is relatively easy to grasp, but the illustration, or demonstration, the rendering literal of such a fact, is the cutting moment that severs us utterly. Survivors are wounded and left detached with nothing to cling to.

The unknowablity of the outside directly correlates to it's cutting ability - the less comprehensible, systemisable, the fewer links and logical consistencies it produces, the further enhanced it's wounding capacity.

That's why we need to stop focusing on the surface level aesthetics of cosmic horror, the recognisable characters and entities and forces - we're way past that point now. These surface trappings are graspable by anyone with an internet connection and some time to kill - both their fictive biographies and their genesis in the waking world. They are stripped and bereft of their edge, blunted for easy consumption.
comparable to how punks had sharp studs and now fashion loves blunt square studs. atrophied and nonthreatening, fucking pointless. PUN UNINTENTIONAL

Stop leaning on the old names and techniques - players/readers will guess Hastur! Cthulhu! Yog-Sothoth!, a flight from the actual simmering mindless pointlessness that cosmic horror attacks you with. What's more, they'll shit themselves twice as hard when you cut the guide ropes and push them away from the shores of knowledge and into the black ocean of the unknown.

Fuck 'em, let them drown.

I love day drinking.

Friday, 15 June 2018

Forgetting Bears

The mist coils endless, wrapped about trees tighter than snakes, ghost breath obscura. All sound dies in it's embrace. And so the woods are silent, animal cries localised, shrunk, extinguished. It solidifies to a wall when subjected to light, drawing into itself in defiance of sight or understanding. Bats slice effortlessly through the sea of fog, snatching small lizards midair as they leap from branch to branch. Figures cavort at the edge of comprehension, taunting.

From the mist emerge bears with bone masks, human fingers, fur russet, teeth needles and eyes bleeding*. There are always four - kill one and the rest seemingly dissipate into the fog of unknowing, leaving nothing but their slain companion. They meat causes Forgetting, a dangerous state wherein navigation through, into, and out of the Wooded Mist is possible. There is a standing bounty of £100 on a breeding pair of Forgetting Bears - their unmasked cubs would be slaughtered for meat, allowing the colonisation and harvest of the Wooded Mist to begin.

To capture a bear, a true Idiot is needed, unfettered by knowing or thought. They can grapple them by the mask, and hold them there.

HD - 7
ATTK - BITE +2 -  1D12+3 + AMNESIA OR 2x CLAW +1 1D8

*this said pleading on when handwritten but I typed bleeding so bleeding it is

Monday, 21 May 2018

Parasite Architecture Quivering Stone

The designs are innumerable, hidden in the tombs of infamous architects - sealed in lead, cast to the bottom of seas now deserts - the ugly centre of star-metal deposits - the dead basins of volcanoes.

They speak of a tower.

Mind-breakingly gigantic, both in scope and physically immensity. Koan made stone.To gaze upon it, even the ruined stubs of hundreds of failed attempts, is to be rendered as nothing before sheer mass and determination.

It demands to be built, the idea of it too large to die, but also too large to force its way into being - perhaps a cousin of the spell, lurking on the edge of reality, waiting for a opening. The portal is the structure is the idea is the behemoth, craving a physical permanence complete and resplendent, the gravestone of a world.

Entire empires would collapse under the construction project - a hundred thousand slaves could perish in the foundations, a mere speck, the very beginning. Hope a mad, royal architect does not first find the plans, and then discover a previous generations work - a solid foundation to build upon.

Incremental with the fall of empires, nestled in the rhythm of collapse, it will grow and break minds and enslave relentlessly until complete.

Somewhere in your world, the foundations were always ready, if only you had eyes to see before.